Theresa May affirms 'special relationship'

Prime Minister Theresa May has confirmed that she will be renewing the special relationship between Britain and the USA by kissing President Trump's arse when they pair meet. This is the traditional position that previous Prime Ministers have taken up.

Having previously stated that she was unafraid of challenging President Trump, she said that, "although I am not afraid of challenging Mr Trump, I won't actually be doing that. I won't be doing it, but not because I am afraid. Challenging the President would mean that I would actually have to do something and, as I have proved in my leadership so far, doing something is not a tactic I prefer to use. Doing nothing is the way forward."

Apparently, Mrs May has been using lip balm to soften her lips prior to the event and President Trump has been using lotion on his behind.