Report says nuns mistreated children. Catholics everywhere reply 'Duh'.

Nuns on the run

Following the publication of a report into the mistreatment of children in Northern Irish care homes, it has become clear that nuns have been mistreating young people for some time. This does not appear to have surprised people in the Catholic community, most of whom were once children themselves.

"Nuns are always being shown as being harsh and evil," one not-so-young-anymore Catholic said. "Remember that horrible penguin woman from the Blues Brothers or the homicidal nuns in Black Narcissus or that really scary Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act. She scared the bejeezus out of me and that's the truth. There are so many of them that it's practically a stereotype, but things only get to be a stereotype by being true most of the time."

"It's not like we needed a report to tell us any of this," he added. "I just think it's about time that somebody sorted all this out."