White House press room redesign to include lions, tigers and bears, oh my.

President Donald J Trump has ordered the press room at the White House to undergo a major redesign. The main new feature will be a large pit with a sand-covered floor. Any journalist he decides is peddling 'fake news' will be thrown into this pit by secret service agents where they will fight it out with all manner of wild beasts and trained killers. Their only hope will be to prove that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, or an enraged grizzly that's been sent mad by and endless loop of The Celebrity Apprentice.

"Unless they stop peddling the fake story that this administration is a complete clusterf*uck, just because it is, we will treat them with the respect we ought to be getting and have Russian prostitutes pee all over them," said Presidential spokesman Sean Cumin.

Head of the White House press corps, Maximus Decimus Meridius (Commander of the apple mac, General of the Press Corps, loyal servant of True News, Father to a confused son, husband to a wife whose p*ussy hasn't been grabbed) said, "Don't worry; we will have our revenge, in this administration or the next."