US President Donald Trump is making a decisive move to end violence on the streets of America, he's meeting with video game makers to tell them their games are too violent.
"People walking into schools and killing people with guns can't be tackled by taking guns away or making them harder to access," a White House spokesperson explained. "It can only be tackled by making video games less violent. When all we could play was Pong, nobody went around killing each other with table tennis paddles. Nobody has ever been killed by a sonic-powered hedgehog."
It is further rumoured that Italian plumbers are to be banned to stop the carnage on US roads.
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